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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29443221">you clutched my brain and eased my ailing</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SummerChilde/pseuds/SummerChilde'>SummerChilde</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Panic Attacks, Pre-Slash</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 03:41:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>900</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29443221</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SummerChilde/pseuds/SummerChilde</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where the Fire Nation never attacked. Azula gets a panic attack the day of her coronation.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>66</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>you clutched my brain and eased my ailing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>From "Is There Somewhere" by Halsey</p><p>"I'm trying not to let it show, that I don't want to let this go<br/>Is there somewhere you can meet me?<br/>'Cause I clutched your arms like stairway railings<br/>And you clutched my brain and eased my ailing."</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>... "Azula?" It's Ty Lee and Mai, Azula dimly registers. She's dissociating, but she recognizes their voices - Ty Lee's silvery laughter and Mai's deadpan tone.</p><p>She doesn't answer, can't. The knocking resumes. After a few minutes, Azula hears the tell-tale sound of a wooden door sliding open. Hushed murmuring once they've caught sight of her. Then, it's one pair of footsteps - not two - that approaches. Ty Lee. </p><p>Secretly, Azula is grateful. Still, she tries to inject as much venom into her voice as possible, flinging words like daggers at her oldest friend. "What are you doing here? Leave me."</p><p>
  <em>I don't want you to see me like this.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>The pitter-patter of footsteps stops. Azula still has her arms around herself and is awkwardly half-rocking her body - so she can't look up. For a moment, an altogether different sort of panic grips her. Perhaps Ty Lee actually listened? </p><p>Her worries turn out to be unfounded. Another's arms wrap around her body. Suddenly, Azula feels <em>so much better. Safer. </em></p><p>Slowly, she lifts her head from the cradle of her arms to meet a warm, brown gaze.</p><p> </p><p>Ty Lee's dressed in a heavy, silk gown. Her outfit is pink but not at all like the circus outfits she usually favors - as is befitting of a nobleman's daughter attending the next Fire Lord-to-be's coronation. But her eyes and smile are a familiar sight (and kind). Her touch is gentle. She runs fingers, well-versed in energy flow, over Azula's temple and the insides of her wrists before stroking her hair.</p><p>"Hey. You're okay. You're safe. Azula, breathe. Breathe with me. In and out. Inhale. Exhale. That's it. Take deep breaths. Just keep breathing. Just focus on your breathing. Breath with me, okay?"</p><p>The last time Azula had gone into a panic attack, she'd begged Ty Lee to talk to her. It had been <em>so embarrassing. </em>Evidently, Ty Lee remembers because she's talking now.</p><p> </p><p>"Mai and I heard you were banishing all your servants, so we came to see what was wrong. This is another panic attack, right? Tell me if you don't want me to touch you. You're doing so good, Azula. So, so good. Keep breathing with me. Inhale. Exhale. Just focus on your breathing. That's it. Can I stay with you?"</p><p>Azula lets herself be lulled into an almost trancelike state by Ty Lee's voice. Inhale. Exhale. Her mind is clearing. It's only until Ty Lee pulls away that she remembers the gymnast had asked a question. Through a hazy fog of panic - those arms had felt <em>so</em> <em>safe</em>, but now they're <em>gone</em> - Azula manages to choke out: "Don't. Please, stay."</p><p>And so Ty Lee stays. Her best friend spends another ten minutes tracing patterns across her skin, and Azula shakes a wrist free only when her breathing's completely calmed down. She lets Ty Lee continue running fingers through her black hair - all messed up because she had taken to tugging at it in her distress, but only because it's calming, okay?</p><p> </p><p><em>I actually have a coronation to attend. </em>Azula feels like shaking her head at herself exasperatedly.</p><p>She readies to leave. Of course, Ty Lee reads her all too well, or, rather, knows her all too well. Ty Lee knows that she doesn't see the point in complaining but likes to work through her issues provided she has the time. Zuko hasn't yet come to fetch them, so Ty Lee asks, "Are you nervous about the coronation?"</p><p> </p><p>"No!" Azula falters when she meets Ty Lee's gaze. Her best friend's eyes are glittering with emotion. Azula can recognize worry and a scary amount of affection. Not pity, though. For that, Azula's grateful. It enables her to continue speaking. "Maybe," she bites out.</p><p>Still no pity in those doe-like orbs. Ty Lee just waits for Azula to speak, and Azula is so, <em>so </em>grateful. She doesn't let it show, and she doesn't stop scowling. However, she does speak after a few more moments of silence. "What if I don't make a good Fire Lord? I'm not... I'm not <em>Zuko</em>."</p><p> </p><p>Arms wrap around her again. Azula's in an uncomfortable enough state of mind that she allows it. If she leans into the touch, well, no one has to know.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, Azula. You know Zuko doesn't want the throne. And you're going to make a great Fire Lord. Say it with me - "</p><p> </p><p>Azula rolls her eyes - anxiety completely displaced by exasperation. <em>Why do you always know how to make me feel better?  </em>Somehow the sentence Ty Lee uttered when they were 15 on Ember Island stuck. It's become something of a game for the two of them to repeat.</p><p>"I'm the smartest, prettiest girl in the whole world," she mutters dryly. Surprisingly, the words help. Maybe Azula shouldn't be surprised, though. It's not like she doesn't believe them - how can she not when Ty Lee looks at her like she holds the universe's secrets in her palm?</p><p> </p><p>Ty Lee holds Azula for a few more minutes. The thought don't disappear, but they subside.</p><p> </p><p>Azula even manages to throw Zuko a smile when he bursts into her room to tell them that her coronation's about to start. Of course, she can't resist throwing a snarky remark at him after. It makes Ty Lee laugh, so Azula's not sorry.</p><p> </p><p>Ty Lee fixes her hair. Then, the three of them leave - Mai joining them a few seconds later - arms linked.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Episode Referenced: The Beach (S3, E5)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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